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Post by Wallace MacBix on Jun 5, 2007 21:10:25 GMT -5
(not the actual words, I forget them even though it was about 10-12 hours ago, but like this it just sounds all the better)
Me: "No, no no. You're doing it wrong. I can get a nice solid stream when I do it, not spray it all over the place or drip it out."
Lab Partner: *pause* "There are so many things wrong with that statement and I don't even want to go there."
-this was in reference to cleaning out micro syringes today at work.
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on Jun 26, 2007 13:15:48 GMT -5
Kris (10:10:52 PM): "Erin, you're hitting on a potted plant." "Baby, that is one hotass plant!"
She is referencing me, while drunk.
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kaida
-Learner-
Hell hath no fury like my maddness
Posts: 40
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Post by kaida on Aug 22, 2007 12:24:24 GMT -5
This happened in Romania:
Me: *Reach over and grab my 5 or 6 sausage*
Ken Arnald: I enjoy your enthusiasm for life.
Steve sharp( kinda vegetarian): and so do the animals who survive your presence
Me: Hey I warned you I dont eat that much rabbit food... unless its already in the rabbit.
( I count vegatbles as rabbit food and while I eat them they are not my favorite)
At the doctors office: ( I REALLY HATE NEEDLES)
Doctor: *without warning shoves needle in my arm* Okay dear i need you to relax now
Me: You want me to WHAT? How in the name of all that is sane can i relax while you have a needle swimming with bacteria or what have you shoved in my arm. I cannot relax with a needle in my arm are you out of your mind(read faster and at the end my voice was really high)
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Post by Atrus Rand on Aug 22, 2007 23:01:48 GMT -5
"The walrus is a very mellow animal and pretty much stays to itself. However, if you poke it or fuck with it in anyway it will attack violently and not stop until death."
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kaida
-Learner-
Hell hath no fury like my maddness
Posts: 40
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Post by kaida on Aug 23, 2007 10:04:43 GMT -5
Heres some more I found as I cleaned out my cabnets.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If you can read this I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
What part of "Thou shall not" did you not understand?-God
Very funny Scotty now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I dont suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Ok, who put stop payment on my reality check?
We have enough youth how about a fountain of SMART?
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
Its a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
You have the right to remain silent...Anything you say will be misquoed, then used against you.
According to my calculations the problem doesnt exist.
How can I miss you if you wont go away?
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Don't get me mad! Im funning out of places to hide the bodies.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.
You! OFF my planet.
I found all of those online when I was really bored last year and refound them today enjoy.
Heres one I have heard recently.
Walt shut up until you regrow your smart tooth.
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Aug 24, 2007 18:18:40 GMT -5
Oh my Disney adventures:
"Kuya, everyone here talks like Harry Potter." ~ My adorable 8-year-old sister upon meeting British people.
"Chase, that was a perfectly good arm rest until you made it gay." ~ Me on a Disney shuttle bus.
"You know this is Five Star food when you seriously consider that whole 'vomitorium' concept." ~ Chase.
"No Oxidants in my system WHATSOEVER!!!" Me after drinking 2 liters of Green Tea.
And the Number 1 quote:
"Man, imagine if they hired sex offenders here. I can't think of anything more traumatizing than getting raped by a guy in a Goofy costume. Especially if he talks like him and says "Gawrsh!" during the raping." ~ Me "Suddenly, I picture him and Pyramid Head teaming up." ~ Chase "... on Hermione Granger." ~ Me
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kaida
-Learner-
Hell hath no fury like my maddness
Posts: 40
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Post by kaida on Aug 29, 2007 18:50:47 GMT -5
Family Dinner:
With regards to High School "Ive got one more year and I am Free..." My sister "pesamest" At the same time"Pass the Pasta"
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Aug 29, 2007 23:19:13 GMT -5
Wait a second ... you have a sister? ~myself on numerous occasions, and oddly enough it fits this current turn of events.
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kaida
-Learner-
Hell hath no fury like my maddness
Posts: 40
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Post by kaida on Aug 30, 2007 7:16:32 GMT -5
Me every time I am asked if I have a sister: always muttered so she cant hear me "Not so much sister as pet..."
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Post by Gravius on Sept 6, 2007 13:14:37 GMT -5
"How about I break this glass and have a fancy eye-stabbing party?" ~Me when my idea for a fancy glass party was scoffed at
"Hey lady, I wasn't the dingo that ate your first-born. So put down the boomerang and take a couple of breaths." ~Me talking about a hypothetical situation involving an over-anxious Aussie choral director
After such a long hiatus, I can't think of many more. I'll come back with a few, I'm sure.
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on Sept 10, 2007 1:10:57 GMT -5
OMG ya'll broke me
"I can't stop my pimptatude" -- Kris B. on the subject of how she managed to end up walking around with a hot guy on each arm.
"Beat no more men with meat" -- from the novel "Hannibal Rising" by Thomas Harris
"Quoting Shakespeare is like talking dirty to me" -- Me
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Post by Gravius on Jan 17, 2008 3:28:08 GMT -5
"That was critical fucking thinking!"
~Dr. Tyson Lewis
"I WILL SMACK YOU SO HARD YOU WILL SEE GOD'S NEVERENDING OCEAN!"
~Vito
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Jan 17, 2008 11:59:46 GMT -5
What was that one BIx said:
"You'd be surprised how long you can beat a dead corpse until you get tired of it."
I'm just shocked that he had to point out that the corpse was dead...
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Mar 29, 2008 12:46:25 GMT -5
*Chase and Myself discussing the idea of my getting a BA in three separate music concentrations*
Dan: So if these courses line up and I write a research paper on top of my senior recital, I can get a degree in Music Composition With an Emphasis on Film and Theater, Music History/Theory, and Popular Music. Technically, it's still only one BA. But it's in three separate concentrations at once!
Chase: So what exactly does one BA in three concentrations get you?
Dan: I pretty much win the Music Department's "Biggest Dick Waving Competition".
Chase: Oh ... might as well get two more concentrations in Conducting and Performance too ...
Dan: No ... I can't be that big ...
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on Aug 27, 2008 23:15:40 GMT -5
"There's no God. Why? Because it's gross that men pee out of the thing that they stick in me. God wouldn't be that cruel." -- Me while having a serious discussion.
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