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Post by Atrus Rand on Apr 9, 2007 21:55:16 GMT -5
Have you ever heard someone say something you thought was pretty danged funny? Well, post it here and share the love. It can be you, your friends, or that guy you saw on TV. Anything at all. <AtrusRand> Discrete math is knowing exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. |
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Apr 9, 2007 23:22:49 GMT -5
"How can you possibly hope to navigate the tumultuous seas of politics and diplomacy when you can't hook up a damn X-box?"
Matt L. (one of my suitemates) to a political-science major
"Allright, given $10 billion and the assurance that I'll never get tried for it, I'd strangle a 7 year old to death and look him in the eyes while I do it. Imagine how much good you can do with $10 billion."
Matt L.
"Fucked you up!"
John (my roommate) after kicking a hamster ball ... with the hamster inside.
"There's only one woman I could ever love and her name's JUSTICE! Except for those one night stands with VIOLENCE and her twin sister SENSELESS DEATH. mmmm ... twins ..."
Me
"If it's one thing I learned from my Chinese history class, it's to never trust a concubine."
Me
"So that way, the kingdom could have a lot of people to work the rice growing in the rice paddies. Have you worked in rice paddy? I did when I was junior in highschool. Communists made me. Not very fun."
Professor Li Guanan, Traditional Chinese History
"But awkward homosexual overtones are this suite's chief export."
Me
"Wow, we're a shitty country"
Matt C.
as you can see, it's been an interesting year ...
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on Apr 11, 2007 2:40:43 GMT -5
AtrusRand (1:49:06 AM): God's greatest mistake was giving humans the skill to make vaccums with their mouths.
This would be why I <3 late night AIM conversations, they all turn into things like that.
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Post by Trino on Apr 11, 2007 12:24:13 GMT -5
"Why can't you pick a normal hole for once!!!"
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Post by Wallace MacBix on Apr 12, 2007 8:32:30 GMT -5
Worker: "Do you know where the sexual abuse response center is?"
Me: "I think its..., but I'm not sure"
Worker: "Okay, I have three thousand cookies to deliver, and I have no idea where they need to go." *worker leaves*
*Friend and I begin to laugh*
Me: "Why do they need cookies in the sexual abuse center? 'You were sexualy abused, here have a cookie' *smiles evily*"
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Post by Lavinia on Apr 20, 2007 21:37:48 GMT -5
Me at 3 in the morning at the Fantasy Faire:
"Hey Steve?"
"Yeah Jill?"
"Will You marry me?"
".....We're gonna talk about that in the morning."
"Kay." *falls asleep*
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There are major calamities, national emergencies, there are global catastrophes…and then there’s the disaster zone many simply refer to as the Waterhouses’s kitchen.
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How come I can figure out to hot wire a fucking ambulance, but I cant do college math?
You know why?
THE MAN.
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Transformers CAN make babies. Their called toasters. And looking up Transformers Hentai...IS FINE. -Me...at 5:30 in the morning...to the dog.
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Post by Lavinia on Apr 21, 2007 7:57:53 GMT -5
Got another one:
Even YOU can be a Level 70 NightEld Druid and STILL get a college dregree!- Internet Website, Youtube.com
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Post by Atrus Rand on Apr 22, 2007 2:10:00 GMT -5
"All my life, my grandpa used to call video game controllers "remotes", I hated it so much... I knew that would come back to bite me one day."
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Post by Wallace MacBix on Apr 23, 2007 14:41:16 GMT -5
Patrick Kenny (Philadelphia, PA) wrote
at 3:23pm on April 20th, 2007
"PENIS PENIS PENIS!
Hey Bix-o, hows it goin?"
sigh.....damn those kennys where's Harvy Oswald when you need him. ;D
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Post by Li Tun-ye on Apr 23, 2007 16:10:56 GMT -5
... it was Lee Harvey Oswald...
... and he killed John F KENNEDY ... only one of them ...
... I'm going to go walk through the bad parts of the city and reflect on your butchering of history ...
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Post by Rain on Apr 24, 2007 18:06:59 GMT -5
"Its time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying, sometimes that means killing a whole bunch of people." - Dwight McCarthy, "Sin City"
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on May 15, 2007 1:05:11 GMT -5
"An Alien Made Love to my Weedwacker"
That is an actual front page headline from the "Weekly World News"... I saw it on a shelf at a store when I was nine, it has been stuck in my brain ever since...
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on May 18, 2007 23:21:26 GMT -5
"no, I ain't touching her festering women-in-prison vag with a 200-foot pole" -- My friend Mike on the subject of Paris Hilton.
EDIT (because I'll double post, but not triple):
"It's like driving a cloud made of heaven and unicorns and fairies" -- George compairing Steve's car to Rob's
"That is one ugly bitch, how'd she ever get sex, let alone become an addict!?" -- Me while watching a documentary on nymphomania
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Post by Wallace MacBix on Jun 3, 2007 22:02:25 GMT -5
"THIS IS SPARTA" - 300
"I've had enough of these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane." -Snakes on a Plane
"Danger Will Robinson, Danger!" - Lost in space (i think)
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Claramata
-Scholar-
Should probably be doing something else.
Posts: 54
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Post by Claramata on Jun 4, 2007 10:42:04 GMT -5
Lost in Space, but you were right.
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